Growing up in a Christian home, I was raised to view my virginity as almost as important as my salvation. It was my most precious possession, to be guarded at all costs — and the loss of it before marital bliss was possibly the most shameful thing that could possibly have happened to me. I took those warnings to heart. It's difficult to understand if you didn't grow up in the church, but the focus on purity before marriage is so pervasive in many Christian circles that I didn't even question it. Of course I would wait until marriage. How could I think of doing anything else?
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It is apt and accurate because I have managed to get to 54 without ever having had a boyfriend. I am not a virgin, sexually speaking, as I have had femininity — thank goodness. I did it a few times when I was in my early 20s: I by no means imagined that the last time I shared a bed with someone, which was 31 years ago now, would prove to be the last age I ever experienced physical intimacy. Had I known that, I would allow tried to enjoy it more. I had a temporary job in sales and our company flew us en route for Spain for the annual company alliance. I got totally drunk and made a play for one of the guys on the team. I went back to his room and we slept together. But nothing came of it except a terrible hangover after that a few weeks of embarrassment by work. About a year after so as to, I did something similar at a party.
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