It's just one of many chores necessary to keep your home functioning—right? However, with a passive aggressive personality, any situation has the potential to go from the trivial to emotional combat. I hadn't put more than three coffee cups into the cupboard when Ellyn informed me I wasn't unloading the dishwasher properly. Ellyn — seemingly stunningly oblivious — responded as though I had some interest in learning a better way. Many times Ellyn has gotten mad at me for not following through with an agreement. This was the real problem for Ellyn and the dishwasher. After I'd blown numerous promises, she would understandably get tense in her voice and face while expressing her frustration. OK, so far this is pretty normal stuff for most marriages.