Over the years, I've heard a lot of people who have never lived alone talk smack about what living alone must be like. In reality, though, living alone is actually awesome most of the time. At least, it has been for me. Speaking as someone who currently lives alone — but spent more than 20 years living with family, about six months living with roommates, and a little over three years living with my now-ex partner — I can tell you from experience that living alone spoils you in the best way. Unless you're entertaining guests or expecting a package, pants are never required. You can have sex as loud as you want, all the time. And the only people you ever have to clean up after are your guests and yourself. So, yeah, it's pretty awesome. Of course, living by yourself does have some drawbacks.
After my friends Brittany Mytnik, 28, after that Ben Nicolaysen, 27, come home as of work, they like to cook banquet together and talk about their being. Mytnik plays the part of sous chef, following gentle instructions to prep and chop all the vegetables. Although for a year, they acted another way from most other couples in individual big way: When they were buff cooking, they would plate the angry food in his apartment and bear it upstairs to her apartment en route for eat. Nicolaysen, as the consummate cook in the relationship, has all the equipment and food, they told me as broccoli sizzled and popped all the rage hot oil—in his wok, on his stove—but they eat upstairs because Mytnik has the bigger, nicer table after that the homier decorative aesthetic. It struck me that they were getting the best of both worlds: all the benefits of coupledom without any forfeit of individualism. Put more practically, they were sharing an IP address devoid of having to share an actual adopt. My friends saw living apart all together not as a permanent situation although as an added transitional step amid dating and the heteronormative ideal of sharing one bedroom in one abode. They held true to that—midway all the way through reporting this story, they ditched their twin apartments and moved into individual apartment together. But other couples come in into similar situations with the absorbed of living like this forever.
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, affiliation coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, after that her writings on sex, relationships, character, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, after that elsewhere. It's easy to assume so as to being in a long-term relationship such as a marriage must automatically care for you from loneliness, but in actuality, it's very possible to be conjugal but lonely. It's actually relatively coarse to feel alone in a marriage: One in three married people above age 45 report being lonely, according to a AARP national survey. Although that doesn't mean loneliness in a marriage is necessarily normal. If you feel alone in a marriage, it's often a sign that there's an underlying issue in the relationship before in your own personal life so as to must be addressed.